Nowadays perhaps more than ever before, I
am persistently aware of my own existence. That may sound like something I
would be proud to state. But honestly, it is not a comfortable predicament. I
guess in a very idle way, it is my own version of an ‘existential crisis’. Every
day I wake up and feel a curious sense of dissatisfaction, like I am not fully
maximising my potential. Yet whenever I seemingly muster the motivation to make
a serious change, I slip back into the same pit of laziness, boredom and
relentless feeling of insignificance. Like my life is nothing but a winding road
to the grave. I am not particularly cynical. I am not an atheist. I am just
somebody who hasn’t quite figured himself out yet. Constantly searching, yet
rarely uncovering anything new or inspiring.
Recently, I was listening to the poem that
Bob Dylan recited in front of his adoring audience at New York’s Town Hall in
1963, entitled Last Thoughts On Woody
Guthrie. It’s not a particularly clever poem. It is Dylan writing in a
style very similar to some of his most famous songs at that time, like Hard Rain.. and Masters of War. Before commencing, he states that he was asked to
write something about what Woody Guthrie meant to him in “25 words”. He then
jokingly says, “I couldn’t do it, I wrote out 5 pages”. The poem follows a very
rigid structure. Dylan starts to paint a picture of somebody going through some
kind of all encompassing crisis. He then says that they need hope, but it is
out of reach. There is nowhere they can find it because they are too wrapped up
in material pleasures. Finally he asks “Where do you look for this hope that
you’re seeking? Where do you look for this lamp that’s a-burnin’?” before offering
a final homage to Guthrie, “You can either go to the church of your choice or
you can go to Brooklyn State hospital. You’ll find God in the church of your
choice, you’ll find Woody Guthrie in Brooklyn State hospital. And its only my
opinion, I might be right or wrong, you’ll find them both in the Grand Canyon
at sundown.”
I guess it is consistent with good poetry
to do one of two things, either to put into words something wholly relatable,
or to take you to somewhere completely out of your comfort zone. Somewhere
alien. This poem does the former; it almost feels like Bob is talking directly
to me. It almost feels like he understands. It amazes me that at 21, Dylan
could have written this, not to mention the multiple classics he had already
penned by the time his second album hit the shelves. His genius was definitely
being born in the sanctuary of Greenwich Village.
Many lines from Last Thoughts.. strongly resonate with me. I aspire to find the
hope that Dylan’s character so desperately needed. Perhaps above all others
though, the line “… but you try with your whole soul best never to think these
thoughts and never to let them kind of thoughts gain ground or make your heart
pound. But then again you know why they’re around, waiting for a chance to slip
and drop down.” has the
strongest impact. I think this is
the crux of my problem. I think too much. I try to be deep and fatalistic before
I have even experienced what I want to experience. I need to eradicate the
demons in the back of my mind and return to the real world. After all, you only
live on this beautiful planet once, so why waste every moment thinking about
the end of that life, or crawling around in endless days of apathy. I think I
am capable of turning this increased awareness I have found recently into a
force for good. I can finally appreciate the preciousness of life, but also its
fleeting briefness. At 20 years old, I need to get on with my life and live it
the way that I want to. As Steve Jobs once said “Remembering
that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking
you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to
follow your heart.”
Thank you for reading. I aim to update this
blog more frequently from now on (hopefully with topics less depressing haha).
Below is a link to where you can read the full poem Last Thoughts On Woody
Guthrie and somewhere you can purchase the live album Stolen Moments
From Town Hall, New York City for a very good price, which I strongly
recommend for fans of the early Dylan material. It includes the live version of
the recital.
Please subscribe to my YouTube Channel –
MrDylanRecords
Twitter – @MrDylanRecords and @Balzo93
